the blog

The Crying Game

My adventures with menopause continues.

Of the 34 symptoms of menopause I’ve now experienced four of them including: breast pain, hot flashes, body odour change, smell sensitivity. The latest symptom is mood swings.

A person with a mood problem is like a human roller coaster. One minute she’s up, the next minute she’s down.She never seems to be able to get off the ride. Her mood swings are intense, sudden and out of control. Chronic and severe mood swings are a psychological disorder, a health problem every bit as real as a physical ailment. In fact, sometimes they’re the result of a physical problem, like a premenstrual syndrome. And just like a physical problem, they can be treated. You should contact your doctor to get more advice.

I’ve always been very sensitive. As a child you only had to look at me the wrong way to get me crying. As I got older I stopped crying almost altogether because I realized that it wasn’t getting me anywhere except that I would end up with clogged up nostrils and red eyes. Then I had my four children and anything concerning them would have me weeping. When they were little it was Camara’s bicycle accident, Camarran and Caileb’s hernia repairs and Cainen’s coffee table accident. As they got older it was derogatory remarks, broken hearts, concussions, athletic disappointment, injuries from poor choices and having to make difficult choices in their best interests.  Basically, I’m a sucker where my children are concerning.

There are also television commercials, movie trailers and other sentimental acts that make me cry but I can usually see them coming.

So how do I know this is one of the symptoms of menopause?

Easy! It happens at the strangest times, sometimes without provocation, and I can’t control it. It feels as if my heart is breaking—literally!

Here’s the most recent incident. My husband and I were lying in bed early on one just talking and laughing about everyday things like laundry. All of a sudden, I burst into uncontrollable sobs and I can’t stop crying. Poor Jose! He didn’t know what to do. He hugged me and wiped away the tears but he couldn’t keep up with how fast they were coming. He kept asking me what was wrong but I couldn’t even speak to explain to him that I wasn’t crying for any specific reason. It lasted about 10 minutes and just like that it was done. It happened a few more times over the next couple of days and both Jose and I were able to identify what was happening. He would hold me until it passed and I would just roll with the deep sadness as it washed over me and then was followed by hysterical laughter…and more tears!

For some of us women, menopause is a very difficult time. It comes with so many changes that we have no control over. But is also a difficult time for the men who love us. They don’t know what to expect and they don’t know how to help us. It is important for us to share as much with our husbands as we can. Explain to them how we feel. Explain the lack of control we have over the changes that our bodies are experiencing. It will help them to understand and to continue to love us.

If you have experienced this symptom and would like to share please do. It will help your sister in menopause…and her husband.