Standing at the Pearly Gates

I recently ended a 5-year relationship .  There were some things missing for me that made the relationship just not enough. During the time that we were together, I was less than 100 per cent committed to the relationship. He felt it too and had a Plan B as a result. I also had this feeling that there were other things that I should be doing. You know, the stuff that you put on the back-burner because of who you are with and how much time and energy you have to give a relationship for it to survive. But you never get to the back burner stuff and then you start to have regrets. 

I was fortunate enough to wake up before regret set in. I learned something about myself with the dissolution of this relationship. I learned that I am a survivor. That I can love deeply and still walk away if my best interests and my needs are not being met–and not just this particular relationship but unhealthy familial and friendship ones as well.

So now I’ve got my life back and have decided to make it the best life I can live.  I’m exercising, eating healthier, spending time with family and friends, and I’m taking things off my back burner and giving them the time and attention they deserve. For example, I’ve pulled out the book I should have  been working on and started writing again. I’m committed to completing this book by June 2010 and without having to worry about spending time with the boyfriend, I may actually get this done.

Don’t get me wrong. I do miss the companionship and having sex on the regular, but all the other drama I can really do without.  It requires too much time–time that I could use towards pursuing my goals. I almost feel as if I’ve lost 100 pounds! Actually it’s only 18 pounds, but I feel as if I been given a new lease on life and I really don’t want to blow it this time because when I’m standing at the pearly gates and I’m asked what I did with the talents I was given, I want to be able to rhyme off a list so long they have to stop me ’cause I’m holding up the line!

What about you?  What have you put on the back burner that needs to become a priority?  What talents are you not using? What are you going to say when you are standing at the pearly gates?

The only limits in our life are those we impose on ourselves. – Bob Proctor

These are interesting times.

C. Carol Brown

Leave a Reply